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  • Writer's pictureLauren

5 ways to start dating yourself. (This is your sign to do things solo)

I was never a do it alone type of person. I’m used to moving in a pack whether it be my siblings or friends. I wasn’t very open to it once I moved to New York, but eventually I got tired of looking at the same walls everyday and wanted to explore and didn’t have many people that I knew enough to go with. Since then I’ve been to concerts, bars, restaurants and museums by myself. For me it was.a pretty uncomfortable place The more comfortable that you get with it the more enjoyable the experience becomes. You’ll also notice how many other people are doing things by themselves as well.

Here are some ways that I got used it and some ideas for little solo adventure

  1. Start with somewhere you feel comfortable — there might be no where you feel is comfortable for going by yourself, but think hard theres probably something you’ve done by yourself before. Start there. and if you don’t have any ideas about what that is I have a few suggestions. If you want to do something active start with shopping, that is a great solo activity. You probably won’t even miss the company. Another one is going to a cafe or something like that, you can bring a good book or just chill and scroll through social media.

  2. Recognize that going out by yourself is more common than you think — plus no one cares. Look around, you’ll probably see a lot of other people enjoying their own company. Especially if you’re in a big city like New York, doing things on your own is more common than you think.

  3. Encourage yourself — When I go by myself, especially to restaurants or bars I still feel nervous, often I find myself pacing past the place because I get nervous. When I do that I internally tell myself that I can do it and to enjoy my own company. It’s a little positive self talk so that you’ll feel good and tamp down any anxiousness.

  4. Be flexible — one of the perks of being by yourself is that you can do whatever you want. Even if you create a plan you don’t have to stick to it. You can cater it to ho you’re feeling without any of the guilt of changing other peoples plans as well.

  5. Bring a distraction (or create one) — Conversation is an essential part of outings like going to dinner or the bars so being without someone to converse with can sometimes be a little boring. That’s one of the reasons why I like activities like going to a museum or a market because you don’t necessarily miss the conversation because you’re focused on something. If you go to a restaurant or bar that can be another story. I like to bring a book or a notebook for when I get bored or give myself some uninterrupted, guilt-free time to scroll. If you sit at the bar you can also sometimes strike up a conversation with some others as well, which makes it a great chance to meet people for those who are a little more social.

Heres a day in Dumbo that I planned out for myself. It was easily one of my favorite solo dates

- Stop at the Dumbo flea market open on Saturdays and Sundays. They have lots of different vendors to check out form clothing and jewelry to vintage cameras.

- From there wander and check out the neighborhood, they have some really cute shops right next to the flea market including a bookstore.

- Enjoy views of the bridge at the park (take some photos here if you're into that. I set up my lens buddy app and got some cute ones)

- Stop by the Timeout Market for lunch. You have plenty of options for food here and when I went there was live music which I really enjoyed. They also have a nice outdoor patio

- Finally if you're into it check out Evil Twin Brewery for a drink. I'm not very into beer but they have a wide range of flavors

My favorite easy solo outings (Parenthesis with places in New York)

  • Shopping (Soho, Hudson Yards)

  • Museums (The Met, Natural History Museum, MOMA)

  • gardens or parks (Little Island, Prospect Park)

  • concerts or shows (Check out Pier 17)

  • Walking tours

  • Hikes

  • Exercise classes

  • Libraries

  • Coffee shops

  • That restaurant you’ve always wanted to go to (Mono Mono,

  • The beach (Coney Island day trip)

  • Festivals and Markets (Dumbo Flea, Smorgasborg)

You can’t wait for other people to live your life so get out of your comfort zone and check out something you’ve always wanted to today.


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